SPORTS STUFF

The Indians traded Yan Gomes today, and as can be expected, Twitter was completely rationale about the move.  Ok, not so much. But this was a move that was necessary for the Cleveland Indians, even though it does not directly improve the 2019 roster.  Gomes is due a little over $27 million over the next 3 seasons.  It's not a ridiculous sum, but for a team that operates in the mid market, it's steep for a catcher that has largely underachieved for the past 3 seasons. The Indians operated at a $145 million payroll last season, the largest in club history and 14th highest in the big leagues.  That doesn't account for arbitration eligible players, such as Francisco Lindor, who will go from making $500,000 in 2018 to around $10 million in 2019.  Trevor Bauer's salary will jump from just over $6 million to somewhere in the $10 million range.  Corey Kluber will make over $17 million next season, getting a raise due to a kicker in his contract that set in o...

Well, that fucking sucked.  Fisting a Bud Light Lime that takes me back to my college days (the first ones), I try to gather my thoughts and get some shit out that's been building all day.  Here we go. I still remember the first time I felt this way.  Tuesday, October 13th, 1998.  The Indians had just played Game 6 of the ALCS in Yankee Stadium and lost, 9-5, crushing my 8 year old spirit.  I sat on the living room floor with my parents in my blue mesh Jim Thome jersey, carefully watching every pitch on the edge of my seat.  Things did not look good early, until Thome hit a grand slam off David Cone to the upper deck to bring the game to 6-5.  But that was it, and I was heartbroken.  And that is the way I feel every. Single. Time. My team gets eliminated.  It never changes. I remember how I used to think that certain cities deserved it over others.  Sure, the Baltimore Orioles are never a good playoff team, but the Baltimore Rave...

Welp, we traded Josh Gordon.  For a 5th round pick. "But wait, Tom Brady was a 6th round pick!"  Eat my ass.  The Browns suck at drafting and we all know it. To sum up my feelings on the trade, I give you a COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL, and not based on any personal experience, scenario that I 100% made up in my head, and I feel it applies: Trading Josh Gordon for a 5th round pick is like when you have a weed dealer that always has the dankest shit, but he never answers his phone.  You put off your hope until tomorrow, until something suddenly comes up.  He fell asleep.  He was at the movie and couldn't check his phone.  His mom was up late binge watching 'The Big Bang Theory.'  Each time you justify it, "Oh well, they say 'The Big Bang Theory' is the most watched television show on primetime cable, that actually makes sense." Then he'll give you that tease, where you get some shit with purple in it and it's just incredible.  You ha...

HOW ARE WE NOT ON HARD KNOCKS EVERY YEAR: If you don't think the last 18 hours don't represent everything that the Browns choose to be, then I really don't know what to tell you. Is there a more comically inept franchise in the history of sports? Where else do these stories happen?  Linebackers arrested for insider trading, receivers with more talent than God that can't lay off drugs meant for college freshmen, OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLIN OFF!  Hard Knocks needs to have the Browns on speedial the way Leonardo DiCaprio has 19 year old models on his. Josh Gordon is like George Costanza when he tried to get fired from the Yankees, dragging the World Series trophy in the parking lot and spilling spaghetti sauce all over a vintage Babe Ruth jersey.  Over the past few years, I'm convinced Gordon could've walked right into the general manager's office, shit directly onto his desk, and they would've retaliated by... firing the head coach.  "Let...

Are we really gonna ignore that Machine Gun Kelly called Eminem's 16 year old daughter hot?  Yeah, fuck that. I'm with Marshall on this one.  I haven't been this proud to be white since 'White Chocolate' was the star of the AND1 mix tour.  Listen, being white is fucking easy... yes, we occasionally have to be over the top in our racism outrage, just so the other races don't hate us.  But when it comes to hip-hop, dancing, basketball, being born with muscles that would make even Hercules marvel... we're mostly screwed, unless we can hit 3 pointers.  Or we're the "crafty, with surprising quickness" 5'9 receiver that plays for the New England Patriots.  But hey, I'm not complaining.  I've gotten out of more speeding tickets than I care to count, I have it good. Eminem, to us, has always been our knight in shining armor.  He's the Randall Cunningham of the rap game.  Battling race his entire life, coming up being a battle ra...

A TIE?!? How, in the world of professional sports, is a tie even possible? It feels like when on the first day of class the professor asks, "What's your favorite movie?" (as if that's a way to ever get to know a person) and there's always one person that goes into WAY too much detail and say "ummm I really don't have a favorite, it's between blah blah and blah..." How can you not have a favorite? How can you play a game and there NOT be a winner? Do they all just get participation medals? On one hand, I think it's funny to look at it from a Pittsburgh perspective and realize, that's a team fighting for a #1 overall seed in the AFC and they have to get out of Cleveland extremely disappointed. How many times do we have to see the headline, "Ben Roethlisberger is the winningest quarterback in First Energy Stadium history," like great! Hey while we're at it, how many different Browns QBs have there been since 1999? I won...

BAKER MAYFIELD Before the regular season starts, I need to make an important declaration: I am fully aboard the Baker Mayfield hype train. I was adamant throughout the college football season last year that I wanted nothing to do with Mayfield. He was my third favorite option, behind Josh Rosen and Sam Darnold. He was undersized and an Oklahoma quarterback, a product of the system that has produced Heisman trophy winning quarterbacks, such as Jason White and Sam Bradford, that have gone on to less than sexy NFL careers. I had no issue with his off field concerns, if anything, I liked his fire and passion. Unlike some, I didn't see similarities to Johnny Manziel. I just dislike system players. After seeing a few preseason games, I am ready to let go of every one of my assumptions. Here is why: First, the height argument. If you watch elite quarterbacks, such as Tom Brady, something will stand out in the way that he stands in the pocket: He feels the pressure, but will keepi...