HOW ARE WE NOT ON HARD KNOCKS EVERY YEAR:
If you don't think the last 18 hours don't represent everything that the Browns choose to be, then I really don't know what to tell you. Is there a more comically inept franchise in the history of sports?
Where else do these stories happen? Linebackers arrested for insider trading, receivers with more talent than God that can't lay off drugs meant for college freshmen, OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLIN OFF! Hard Knocks needs to have the Browns on speedial the way Leonardo DiCaprio has 19 year old models on his.
Josh Gordon is like George Costanza when he tried to get fired from the Yankees, dragging the World Series trophy in the parking lot and spilling spaghetti sauce all over a vintage Babe Ruth jersey. Over the past few years, I'm convinced Gordon could've walked right into the general manager's office, shit directly onto his desk, and they would've retaliated by... firing the head coach. "Let's get Josh the help he needs here, shitting on desks is fixable behavior." How much clearer could the guy make it that he didn't give a fuck about anybody but himself?
Remember in 'Hard Knocks' when Hue Jackson REPEATEDLY made a hugeee deal out of every single thing Josh Gordon did? "The bird is in the building." "Guys, guess who just texted me? Josh. Gordon. He totally cares!"
The funniest part was Todd Haley was not having any of it. "In shape?" he would ask about Gordon's return. It was just so clear how much Hue was depending on Gordon, which shouldn't surprise anybody. Haley was skeptical from the beginning, emphasizing that he wasn't gonna put his trust in some kind of "get rich quick" equivalent of a football player. It seemed like there was finally somebody in the organization that wasn't afraid to call out thedeadbeat dad wide receiver.
WHAT DID YOU REALLY EXPECT
Whenever the Browns get off to a good start, it's like an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," when something good happens to the gang halfway through the episode. You know the show, things are eventually going to turn to shit for them at some point. It's just part of the charm. Halfway through the episode and Dee inherits a mansion, only to lose it in the episode's final moments after Charlie and Dennis accidently burn down a seperate house and the judge orders her to give it up. It feels kinda like that. Also: HA! Dee's a bird.
The game itself... what really is there to say? 12-3 lead with 10 minutes left in the game and all I really would've put money on the Saints winning the game. How would they do it? That's the fun part! Anything can happen!
I give Tyrod Taylor credit for his giant moose testicles for that throw to Antonio Callaway to tie the game (SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU ACTUALLY TAKE THE LEAD). That's the real takeaway from the game, for me. Callaway is capable of a role that he wouldn't have gotten the opportunity to have if not for Gordon's latest fuckup.
What is there to really say about the fucking kicker? The pressure got to him and he had the yips, like Chuck Knoblauch did when he was with the Yankees. SEGWAY: Remember in the 1998 ALCS, when Travis Fryman bunted, the throw hit Fryman on the back, and Knoblauch stood there pointing at the ball?? My first baseball memory, and it was glorious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8WXdHzvAdc
EXTRA NOTES:
- Tough day for Denzel Ward on Michael Thomas, but if you're gonna get beat, get beat by the best. Thomas wasn't a huge factor after the catch, but a couple huge touchdowns won this game for the Saints.
- Larry Ogunjobi was a monster today, all over Drew Brees.
- More turnovers, more missed opportunites. I'm ready for Baker, even if it's a rough transition.
- HAHA @ the Steelers
- I don't recall getting pissed off at Hue Jackson at anything today. Wow.
- Zane Gonzalez answering questions from the media like
If you don't think the last 18 hours don't represent everything that the Browns choose to be, then I really don't know what to tell you. Is there a more comically inept franchise in the history of sports?
Where else do these stories happen? Linebackers arrested for insider trading, receivers with more talent than God that can't lay off drugs meant for college freshmen, OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLIN OFF! Hard Knocks needs to have the Browns on speedial the way Leonardo DiCaprio has 19 year old models on his.
Josh Gordon is like George Costanza when he tried to get fired from the Yankees, dragging the World Series trophy in the parking lot and spilling spaghetti sauce all over a vintage Babe Ruth jersey. Over the past few years, I'm convinced Gordon could've walked right into the general manager's office, shit directly onto his desk, and they would've retaliated by... firing the head coach. "Let's get Josh the help he needs here, shitting on desks is fixable behavior." How much clearer could the guy make it that he didn't give a fuck about anybody but himself?
Remember in 'Hard Knocks' when Hue Jackson REPEATEDLY made a hugeee deal out of every single thing Josh Gordon did? "The bird is in the building." "Guys, guess who just texted me? Josh. Gordon. He totally cares!"
The funniest part was Todd Haley was not having any of it. "In shape?" he would ask about Gordon's return. It was just so clear how much Hue was depending on Gordon, which shouldn't surprise anybody. Haley was skeptical from the beginning, emphasizing that he wasn't gonna put his trust in some kind of "get rich quick" equivalent of a football player. It seemed like there was finally somebody in the organization that wasn't afraid to call out the
WHAT DID YOU REALLY EXPECT
Whenever the Browns get off to a good start, it's like an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," when something good happens to the gang halfway through the episode. You know the show, things are eventually going to turn to shit for them at some point. It's just part of the charm. Halfway through the episode and Dee inherits a mansion, only to lose it in the episode's final moments after Charlie and Dennis accidently burn down a seperate house and the judge orders her to give it up. It feels kinda like that. Also: HA! Dee's a bird.
The game itself... what really is there to say? 12-3 lead with 10 minutes left in the game and all I really would've put money on the Saints winning the game. How would they do it? That's the fun part! Anything can happen!
I give Tyrod Taylor credit for his giant moose testicles for that throw to Antonio Callaway to tie the game (SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU ACTUALLY TAKE THE LEAD). That's the real takeaway from the game, for me. Callaway is capable of a role that he wouldn't have gotten the opportunity to have if not for Gordon's latest fuckup.
What is there to really say about the fucking kicker? The pressure got to him and he had the yips, like Chuck Knoblauch did when he was with the Yankees. SEGWAY: Remember in the 1998 ALCS, when Travis Fryman bunted, the throw hit Fryman on the back, and Knoblauch stood there pointing at the ball?? My first baseball memory, and it was glorious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8WXdHzvAdc
EXTRA NOTES:
- Tough day for Denzel Ward on Michael Thomas, but if you're gonna get beat, get beat by the best. Thomas wasn't a huge factor after the catch, but a couple huge touchdowns won this game for the Saints.
- Larry Ogunjobi was a monster today, all over Drew Brees.
- More turnovers, more missed opportunites. I'm ready for Baker, even if it's a rough transition.
- HAHA @ the Steelers
- I don't recall getting pissed off at Hue Jackson at anything today. Wow.
- Zane Gonzalez answering questions from the media like
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