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Showing posts from July 2, 2018

The Day After

Waiting for LeBron's decision felt like spreading my legs as wide open as I could, (which isn't very far. I'm doing yoga trying to work on it) and waiting to get kicked right in the testicles. Sure enough, last night at just past 8 o'clock, we were put out of our misery as LeBron wound up for the free shot and landed a kick that would make Ronaldo proud. GOALLLLLL. GOAL GOAL GOAL GO GO GO GOAL.  Sorry for the soccer metaphor but it is World Cup season, after all. I'm told. Like I watch fucking soccer. Down goes Cleveland. A few years back, when I was catching for our summer baseball team, our pitcher was coming into the game, warming up. Our hardest thrower, he throws about an 80 mph slider that bounces in front of home plate, right in between my glove and the dirt directly underneath my nuts. It takes a Matrix-esque bounce and gets underneath my cup, drilling me directly in the boys. I. Go. Down. For a few minutes that feel like an eternity, I struggle to catch my